i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
tell your sister to shave her snatch
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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