Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
