So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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