I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
