he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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