i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
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