You just made me feel so damn special
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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