so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
