I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
