You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
