So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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