She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i need to put some appletini on your dick
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
