I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
