i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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