just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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