no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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