Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
