Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize