Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
