Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
