Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
