But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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