I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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