do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
