I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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