i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
