As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
