i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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