so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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