I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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