i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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