remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
