your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
