He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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