I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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