You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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