I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
