I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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