just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
It's never too late to be topless.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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