There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
