Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
