Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I see more hoeing in ur future
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