my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
