who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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