honey bunches of taint.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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