I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize