Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
