I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm at about main and main street
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
