Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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