You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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