Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
