Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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