I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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