Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
