i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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