I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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